My Darkest Valley

“You are my strength and my Shield from every danger. When I fully trust in You, help is on its way. I jump for joy and burst forth with ecstatic, passionate praise! I will sing songs of what You mean to me.” ~Psalm 28:7 Many of us will enter a valley so dark, we feel we may never get out. Fear strikes and our strength is gone. Everything we ever dreamed of, has suddenly vanished. This is how I felt 30 years ago. My dad was a jack of all trades. He was a licensed contractor, plumber, and seemed to know how to fix anything...even rebuilding an engine. I loved learning from him and was always amazed at all he taught me. I became a lot like him and loved working with my hands. One of my favorite hobbies was auto body work and paint. It was so satisfying to take something mangled up, and resurrect it into a shining like new car. Even though I had a full time job, I loved working in my garage every evening repairing cars for my friends, family and myself. Forty years ago I was in the hospital for 4 days with a severe back injury. The X-rays showed, at that time, I was developing Degenerative Disk Disease. Four years later, and a slip and fall on the ice, I was in need of my first back surgery, also finding that all of my lower disks had dried up and crumbled like old cookies. They renamed my spinal condition as “Severe Degenerative Disk Disease.” During the next 6 years, I lived in chronic pain and had 3 more major surgeries, then my spine narrowed out, collapsing two vertebra. Every nerve from my waist down was either severed or crushed. I was told within 5 years I'd be in a wheelchair the rest of my life. After being declared totally disabled, My dad had just passed away of a severe heart attack at the age of 65. I spent my next 5 years living in an adjustable bed wondering what I did to deserve this? I spent a lot of my time thinking about things I would never be able to do again...things as simple as taking a nice walk through the woods. I was asking the Lord, what He had in store for me to do next. I became bitter, depressed, and felt abandoned. I've read the book of Job and noticed that as long as he was complaining, the Lord did not help him. It wasn't until he started praising the Lord that everything he lost was restored many times over. I started praying for a new direction. My oldest son wanted to learn to play guitar, so he would lay one on my lap as he learned to play on another guitar. Even though I was reclined in bed, I found I could play guitar, mandolin and the Mountain Dulcimer! As he progressed, I'd play these other instruments along with him. My wife wanted to start back to work, so I decided to home school my oldest son. He was a straight “A” student! Day by day my life was changing into something new! My son started playing guitar in our first modern worship team at church. I was playing the electronic drums on a pad that sat on my lap while I was sitting off stage in my wheelchair. I taught my youngest son to play drums and soon he was the first drummer in the worship team. I began a routine of standing and walking for 5 minutes at a time. Soon I had worked my way up to 15 minutes per session, and graduated to using a cane for short distances. Soon I was playing bass and guitar along in the worship team. I wrote several Christian seasonal plays, and skits for our mission's team. The Lord is helping me still progress today! Its been 30 years and the Lord had other plans for me than being restricted to a wheelchair for the rest of my life. One of the most humbling, yet wonderful things is receiving a card from my daughter and sons that includes, “You never gave up, no matter what knocked you down, you got up again. Your daily witness has been a life lesson to us because you never lost your trust in God.” As I look back on all the Lord has done in those 30 years, I thank Him that I was able to watch my sons grow into strong Christians that never give up the battle. As the song title says, “The Battle Belongs to the Lord.” This has been a difficult testimony for me to put into words but I truly believe that someone may be facing the same battle. I will end with the words of a worship song I led a few months ago, “I'm fighting a battle, you've already won. No matter what comes my way, I will overcome. I don't know that You're doing, but I know what you've done. I'm fighting a battle You've already won!”